8-year-old gives lessons on dealing with the deployment of a parent
In a crowded room at Grand Forks Air Force Base, 45 Grand Forks teachers listened attentively today to a briefing on military deployment.
By: Chuck Haga, Grand Forks Herald
In a crowded room at Grand Forks Air Force Base, 45 Grand Forks teachers listened attentively today to a briefing on military deployment.
The young man doing the briefing was in uniform: jeans, a pullover shirt and sneakers.
"I want to talk to you about my dad's deployment," said Kevin Nedegaard, 8, earnest and composed as he read from notes assembled with his mom's help.
"This is how I felt when I found out my dad was going to leave: Sad. Bad. Mad. I felt sad like if a pet died. I felt bad for my dad that he was leaving. I felt mad and frustrated."
The teachers all work at Twining or Carl Ben Eielson elementary schools on base, but most live off base. Tuesday's briefings, by Air Force officers and enlisted personnel and one 8-year-old boy whose father is headed to Afghanistan, were designed to help them better understand the impact of parental deployments.
Kevin's father, Lt. Col. Randy Nedegaard, begins training next month for deployment to Afghanistan on July 4.
"He'll be home next January, God willing," said Kathy Nedegaard, who will handle the home front with Kevin and his sisters, Miranda, 17, and Lauren, 16.
"It's frightening," she said. "We know there's danger, and we'll deal with that if it comes. But for now, there's life to be lived. And it's a worthy cause, what he'll be doing, absolutely necessary. Somebody has to do it, so he's doing it."
The girls understand "that this is what Dad does," she said. "I think it's been hardest on Kevin. He and his dad are thick as thieves."
Ribbon in the tree
You could tell from Kevin's "briefing" for the teachers that he and his father are close.
"We talk about our feelings," he said. "We plan fun things like golf, hockey and piano lessons. We find things to help us while he's gone, like cameras for the computer so maybe we can see him sometimes.
"I put a ribbon on the school deployment tree."
The tree has had 37 ribbons placed on it this school year, said Denise Loftus, a counselor at Carl Ben Eielson. Each ribbon bears the name of a child and a deployed parent.
"What will I do while Dad is deployed?" Kevin asked, rhetorically, in his briefing. "I will miss the fun times. I will do the extra work to help out with Dad's chores. I will try to have fun.
"I will be the only boy in the house. ... Even my cat is a girl.
"Dad will miss all the holidays and kids' birthdays. We will have to figure out ways to include him.
"I will worry about the danger for Dad."
Helmets, armor
Several teachers said they notice the effects that deployment of a mother or father can have on a student. Most seem to handle the new circumstance well, but for some "it could be traumatic," said Marcia Wahlstrand, who teaches third grade at Carl Ben Eielson. "It could affect behavior, how they're learning."
Kevin's presentation "was heartwarming, and it was real," she said.
"He's an articulate young man," added Jennie Quanrud, a paraprofessional at Carl Ben Eielson. "It personalized it for me to hear a student explain it so well."
During their three-hour "deployment" to the base, the teachers heard from Col. John Quinn, vice commander of the 319th Air Refueling Wing, who said the base population — including numbers of school children — will rebound in 18 months or so as the base mission evolves.
The teachers tried on body armor and other combat gear ("I need this for my teachers when I have bad news," a helmeted Twining Principal Barry Lentz said), and they heard from Tech Sgt. Karlyn Beadles about how she handled her deployment and a separate deployment by her husband.
"I rearranged the living room furniture" while he was gone, she said, and she fretted: "What if I gained 20 pounds, or I lost 20 pounds? Is he going to see that fender I dented? Is he going to want the checkbook back? The TV remote?"
And how would he, the disciplinarian, be with the kids when he returned home?
"He didn't come in all forceful," she said. "He sat back for a few weeks, which probably helped with the kids."
Looking forward
As he concluded his briefing, Kevin explained how he and his family will try to make this time apart from his father as good as possible.
"We will talk about our feelings," he said. "I will keep playing hockey. I will keep going to school. I will keep playing with friends. We will think of Dad and pray for him.
"I will write to Dad a lot and talk to him when I can. We will help each other with trying to stay together and not miss out on Dad too much.
"We will look forward to him coming home."
The young man doing the briefing was in uniform: jeans, a pullover shirt and sneakers.
"I want to talk to you about my dad's deployment," said Kevin Nedegaard, 8, earnest and composed as he read from notes assembled with his mom's help.
"This is how I felt when I found out my dad was going to leave: Sad. Bad. Mad. I felt sad like if a pet died. I felt bad for my dad that he was leaving. I felt mad and frustrated."
The teachers all work at Twining or Carl Ben Eielson elementary schools on base, but most live off base. Tuesday's briefings, by Air Force officers and enlisted personnel and one 8-year-old boy whose father is headed to Afghanistan, were designed to help them better understand the impact of parental deployments.
Kevin's father, Lt. Col. Randy Nedegaard, begins training next month for deployment to Afghanistan on July 4.
"He'll be home next January, God willing," said Kathy Nedegaard, who will handle the home front with Kevin and his sisters, Miranda, 17, and Lauren, 16.
"It's frightening," she said. "We know there's danger, and we'll deal with that if it comes. But for now, there's life to be lived. And it's a worthy cause, what he'll be doing, absolutely necessary. Somebody has to do it, so he's doing it."
The girls understand "that this is what Dad does," she said. "I think it's been hardest on Kevin. He and his dad are thick as thieves."
Ribbon in the tree
You could tell from Kevin's "briefing" for the teachers that he and his father are close.
"We talk about our feelings," he said. "We plan fun things like golf, hockey and piano lessons. We find things to help us while he's gone, like cameras for the computer so maybe we can see him sometimes.
"I put a ribbon on the school deployment tree."
The tree has had 37 ribbons placed on it this school year, said Denise Loftus, a counselor at Carl Ben Eielson. Each ribbon bears the name of a child and a deployed parent.
"What will I do while Dad is deployed?" Kevin asked, rhetorically, in his briefing. "I will miss the fun times. I will do the extra work to help out with Dad's chores. I will try to have fun.
"I will be the only boy in the house. ... Even my cat is a girl.
"Dad will miss all the holidays and kids' birthdays. We will have to figure out ways to include him.
"I will worry about the danger for Dad."
Helmets, armor
Several teachers said they notice the effects that deployment of a mother or father can have on a student. Most seem to handle the new circumstance well, but for some "it could be traumatic," said Marcia Wahlstrand, who teaches third grade at Carl Ben Eielson. "It could affect behavior, how they're learning."
Kevin's presentation "was heartwarming, and it was real," she said.
"He's an articulate young man," added Jennie Quanrud, a paraprofessional at Carl Ben Eielson. "It personalized it for me to hear a student explain it so well."
During their three-hour "deployment" to the base, the teachers heard from Col. John Quinn, vice commander of the 319th Air Refueling Wing, who said the base population — including numbers of school children — will rebound in 18 months or so as the base mission evolves.
The teachers tried on body armor and other combat gear ("I need this for my teachers when I have bad news," a helmeted Twining Principal Barry Lentz said), and they heard from Tech Sgt. Karlyn Beadles about how she handled her deployment and a separate deployment by her husband.
"I rearranged the living room furniture" while he was gone, she said, and she fretted: "What if I gained 20 pounds, or I lost 20 pounds? Is he going to see that fender I dented? Is he going to want the checkbook back? The TV remote?"
And how would he, the disciplinarian, be with the kids when he returned home?
"He didn't come in all forceful," she said. "He sat back for a few weeks, which probably helped with the kids."
Looking forward
As he concluded his briefing, Kevin explained how he and his family will try to make this time apart from his father as good as possible.
"We will talk about our feelings," he said. "I will keep playing hockey. I will keep going to school. I will keep playing with friends. We will think of Dad and pray for him.
"I will write to Dad a lot and talk to him when I can. We will help each other with trying to stay together and not miss out on Dad too much.
"We will look forward to him coming home."
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment